The Widgets
Fortunes are hard to part with, especially for those who love treasure.
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Once upon a time, out in the far reaches of space, there lived an emperor named Perovis who ruled over a sprawling kingdom of planets known as the Orvangian Intergalactic Empire.
Perovis was not a warrior like his father nor a scholar like his mother. He cared about one thing above all: riches. Gold and gems and all things that sparkled. It was for this love of glittery things, they called him Perovis the Elegant.
Under the rule of Perovis, the empire ignored the health and welfare of its people. Instead, it developed a vast network of mines, burrowing deep into planets like hungry space moles. The grandest of them all was called Shinebottom, a mine cut into the mountains of Tarkelstan, where gems spilled from the earth like water from a broken jug.
But the vast riches of Shinebottom came at a heavy price. The people of Tarkelstan, hardy and proud, protested the mine’s expansion. The emperor did not listen. He was too busy counting his treasures. Then, one fateful day, Shinebottom’s deepest dig split open the belly of the planet, and from its dark depths, a nightmare poured forth.
Monstrous waves of reptilian beasts with jagged fangs and armored hides came slithering through the breach, roaring their fury upon the land. They tore through villages, smashed forests, and surrounded the great capital city of Ghurshar like a massive python. The Tarkelstanis fought bravely, but their spears shattered like twigs against the creatures’ iron scales.
Fearing the loss of his greatest treasure trove, Emperor Perovis sent the Orvangian imperial army to destroy the monsters. They marched in gleaming formation, banners held high, their weapons sharp. And yet, against the beasts, their spears fell like leaves in a storm. The monsters cut the soldiers down with ease, and the survivors fled back behind the city’s walls.
Perovis tried everything to defeat them. New weapons, new strategies, new commanders. Nothing worked. Desperate, he declared a great bounty throughout the empire. Perovis would give all the riches of the imperial treasury to anyone who could rid him of these horrors.
That was when Malawick arrived.
A mad scientist from the distant world of Horgon, Malawick was known for two things: wild ideas and even wilder inventions. He claimed to have the answer to the emperor’s problem, a creation of his own making — something he called the Widgets.
Perovis summoned his court to witness the unveiling of this miracle weapon. Malawick presented a small, unremarkable box. From inside, he removed an even smaller machine. It rolled on tiny wheels and blinked with tinier lights.
The chamberlains laughed. The generals scoffed. Even Perovis, eager as he was for a solution, could not help but chuckle. “This…thing is your mighty weapon?”
Malawick only smiled. “Just give it a chance,” he said.
Reluctantly, the emperor agreed. They loaded Malawick and his single metal box onto an imperial transport ship and flew to Tarkelstan. When they arrived in Ghurshar, the scientist set his box down and pressed a button. The Widget came out whirring and clicking, and then—
Another appeared.
Then another.
Then two more.
And then four. And eight. And sixteen. In just a few short moments, an entire army of Widgets stood ready, their blinking lights casting a strange glow on the city walls.
Then, with a wave of Malawick’s hands, they rolled in unison out the city gates and off to war.
The battle was unlike any before it. The Widgets moved with uncanny precision, striking together, like an army of ants moving as one. They climbed onto the monsters’ backs, latched onto their jaws, and overwhelmed them in endless numbers. The beasts, mighty as they were, could not withstand the relentless tide of whirring, blinking Widgets. One by one, they fell until finally they turned and retreated back into the depths of the mine.
The empire rejoiced. Parades filled the streets, banners were raised, and Malawick was hailed as the hero genius of Ghurshar.
But when the celebration died down, greed crept back into the heart of emperor Perovis. He had promised Malawick a fortune, but fortunes are hard to part with, especially for one with such a deep obsession with treasure. Instead, Perovis dismissed the scientist with a sneer and banned Malawick from the empire.
But before he did this, Perovis ordered his chamberlains to steal one of the Widgets, believing his engineers could figure out how to use its magic.
Malawick, disgusted, took his remaining Widgets and vanished into the stars.
One year passed and the battle of Tarkelstan became a legend, a famous moment of Orvangian history. Shinebottom reopened and life returned to normal. The emperor, ever eager for fortune and fame, declared an anniversary festival to mark his great victory. The people feasted and danced in the streets.
But just as the celebration reached its peak, the monsters returned. They descended upon the city in a surprise attack.
Perovis was not worried. He had his stolen Widget. He ordered his generals to deploy it, confident the machine would save the day once again.
The Widget whirred. It clicked. It blinked. And just as before, it replicated. Two, four, eight widgets and so on. Perovis watched with excitement as the Widget army rolled out to face the monster horde.
But as the Widgets arrived to confront the monsters, something strange happened. The machines simply did not act as before. Sparks flew. Gears jammed. One by one, they clinked and clambered and fell to the ground in a rattle of useless metal junk.
It was a spectacular failure.
The monsters surged forward, their roars shaking the city. They smashed through the walls and rampaged through Ghurshar. As the emperor tried to flee, the largest of the beasts swallowed him whole. Then for good measure it ate all the chamberlains and generals, too.
With the emperor gone and his armies in ruin, the monsters seemed satisfied. Together they turned and slithered back into the mine.
The people of Tarkelstan, now free from the emperor’s grip, sealed Shinebottom shut and returned to their old ways — a simpler, but more peaceful life.
And as for Malawick?
It is said he reappeared a few years later after starting a band. The band became famous throughout the galaxy for its unique brand of electronic music. You’ve probably heard some of their songs. In fact, you already know the name of the band.
The end.